Sunday, October 5, 2014

My Soul Keeper

There's a phase between happy and sad, a feeling of neutrality. A time when you're immune to emotions. Your mouth speaks words your soul doesn't mean. A void gets created in you because your feelings define you. You feel nothing but empty. You're searching for a way to complete the thoughts in your head. You're searching for the switch that will make you feel like YOU again.

When you reach such a stage, you forget your goals, you lose your way. You feel so broken you don't know how to fit yourself together again.

I had been through such a stage around a year ago. It was devastating! I, a girl filled with dreams, didn't know what I wanted anymore. I was shutting out friends who really cared in the fear of being betrayed again. I forgot the little things that defined my world. I felt my words slowly slip out of my blood.

That's when I met someone.

I met him through a mutual friend and honestly, that day I ignored him. I was there because I was forced to and I had no interest in making new friends. I don't know when time went by, and "hi-hello" changed to taunts and teases. I soon realized how misguiding our first conversation was. We had so much in common that we completed each other's sentences.

Yes, it was love. But a different level of it. To me, he is a brother that recognizes my every flaw and knows how much I try to hide them. He knows my past and I know his. And he knows enough not to untie my scars. I can use no words and he will still know what's on my mind. He knows when to advice and when to just hold my hand till I find myself. He can tell from my eyes when my old demons are trying to rise, and he knows exactly how to silence them. With him, I have no fear, because I'm a kid again.  There are no expectations, no demands. There's no name to keep up to. There's just an infinite invisible bond, that many tend to misunderstand. But we know, that it won't break till the end of time.

His entry into my story has made me realize that sometimes it takes a broken soul to fix another. It takes two broken pieces to make a whole. People don't always walk into your life to walk out of it. Sometimes they walk in to remind you who you are and they stay to make sure you don't forget it. Sometimes it's okay to be broken because sometimes you need to be shattered to shine brighter than before.

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes you need to be shattered to shine brighter than before. ❤️

    I hope you are doing well.