Friday, August 9, 2013

I want to believe in you...

There was that childlike mischief in his smile as he shook my hand,when a mutual friend introduced us that day. I immediately saw that spark in his eyes. During that first conversation itself I had realized that we had a lot more in common than just our last name.

He bragged on about random experiences and I was at a loss for words. Destiny was playing with me. It was as if my life had been rewound and was being played again right in front of me. We stood there near our college cafe, trying to save ourselves from the rain. Right then, I saw myself, a few years younger, yapping on and on. Saying anything that came to mind, without caring about what anybody thought . All those faces flashed in front of my eyes. All those people I've hurt. Suddenly I wanted to run to them and apologize again. But I know that wouldn't make any difference because they had already forgiven me. But those scars on their hearts will always remain.

His old friends tell me, he isn't someone I would want to get close to. I don't reply because I know, whatever I say wouldn't make  any sense. All I know is that I want to believe in him. I want to be there when he realizes the massacre he created. I want to be there when the people he cares for leave. I want to be there when he reads this and realizes that I saw it coming.

I want to tell him all this now, but I know it's of no use. He's going to laugh it off. I know because I didn't believe them either when I was warned. Even if he pushes me away today, I'm going to ignore it. I know he will regret it later. I will continue to believe him, because I needed someone to believe in me. I will be that friend I didn't have then and hopefully I will help him out of this quicksand before he loses himself.