Wednesday, August 21, 2013

August 22nd

Screams. Tears. Broken hearts. Unkept promises. His mother's shattered dreams. His kids' lost childhood. His wife's ruined future. The end of my superhero. Faces of my loved ones, which don't even look familiar being drained of blood and life. The incident happened two years ago. It marked the end of my fairytale childhood and naivety.

All this had hardly sinked in after the passage of a year, when the second bomb exploded. This time the loss of a really good friend. A friendship which had been scarred with misunderstandings, and left my soul scarred with regrets. Again, I watched people break down. I watched a friend lose herself as the boy she had been dreaming of her future with, was snatched away. I watched his best friends lose faith. And I watched my mind filling with regret as I recalled the meaningless fights and unintended hurt.

Yet again, another year has passed and the impact of these incidents is still fresh.  I doubt if I'm strong enough to live through tomorrow without tears. My heart aches and bleeds for family and friends living this through with me. Anxiety is getting the best of me. I don't know what to feel or think. I'm tired of faking smiles and these stupid lies. I'm tired of breaking down. I'm tired of worrying about the words I never said and some I wish I never had.

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