Thursday, July 11, 2013

I Refused to Grow Up

"You're just a kid,"she teased, "why are you so sad all the time!" And she walked away. Leaving me baffled with a string of thoughts.

She was right. That's whom I've always been. I've always been someone who believed in fairytales and happy endings. Someone who sleeps on a bed filled with stuffed toys. Someone who loves hugs and chocolates. Someone who loves to make people smile through their tears. Someone who loved to talk, dance and sing. Someone who can get lost in the story of a song and actually wonder what would happen next. Someone who always lived in her dreams. Someone who didn't even think about tomorrow. Someone who loved every colour and shade of life. Someone who actually believed that life was beautiful.

I've always wanted to remain this little, joyous kid. I've always refused to grow up. Then suddenly, life changed at the blink of an eye. Nothing seems beautiful anymore. Music makes me cry. Fairytales feel like a slap on my face. Tomorrow looks scary. All those dreams suddenly feel so far. My mind is filled with scary thoughts.I worry about each word I say and each step I take. I worry about the mistakes I've made and people I've hurt. All I want to do is curl up in the corner of my room and cry.

I don't want to be like this. But I can't find my way back. My path seems to have been washed out by the waves of change. Hopefully someday, life will take me back to the path I wished to follow. Hopefully someday, I will find the kid that I lost. Hopefully, "someday" will come sooner than it seems.


  1. Sometimes Words describe a person's feeling in a way that would bring tears both of joy and sadness. You are an ahmazing writer :')

  2. Thank you soo much!!! :) this means a lot to me!!

  3. you really dont thank your friends karunnya :)
    its good to see you back :") feels really good to be in touch with you atleast through some way :)